Having a simple conversation by cell phone includes 2 disconnects and a wrong number
The last time you had 5 bars of internet that actually worked you were in a neighboring country
Included in your daily contact “social circle” is your auto mechanic
You still have no idea how fast 60km is
You know your attorneys number better than your own
One of your daily duties is cleaning frog crap from your porch
Your days activities end at 6pm and staying out late is after 730
Your budget includes considerable monthly sums for auto repair
You got rid of your alarm clock thanks to howler monkeys
Your business has been fully open for months despite no signage, address, insurance…
Your conversations with local friends are closer to therapy sessions than to social gatherings
You make quarterly prayers for the numbers 90 to be added to your passport stamps
You choose bugspray for effectiveness and overall perfume smell as you wear it with greater frequency and volume than deodorant, perfume, makeup and clothing
Your address sounds like a description of where the dog ran away to
You use “manana” to describe tomorrow, everyone else uses it to describe distant future events
You don’t remember what cheese tastes like
You use “pura vida” as a friendly greeting, expression of joy, resignation and an expletive
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