You give barely a glance of interest now to life threatening insects in your house
You haven’t see dentists, insurance agents, bankers, doctors, or the like for longer than you remember
You drive and own vehicles you would never have considered before moving here, none the less pay $ for
Nothing is anti-theft
Postal what?
You swear much more than you used to
Buying some screws in the hardware store involves more people than were in front of you at the bank
The only smell you are accustomed to more than fried banana is mildew
Ants are no longer considered worth mentioning even when crawling on your own clothes
In the last 7 days you have consumed more varieties of fruit than you ever dreamed existed
“lock the car” used to mean securing the doors but now involves removing any non-fixed item
You allow your kids to play on things that look like remains from WWII German bombings
Creatures you used to only see in horror films now live in your own house and you really don’t care
Your yard at night sounds like a car alarm
Putting your vehicle in four wheel drive is a daily event instead of something you once did near Tahoe
You don’t know the day of the week, none the less the date, nor does anyone else for that matter
You used to wish to be “taller”, now you wish you never saw those letters
“banking” is an calendared event
Making a left turn while using your signal is a life threatening event
You eat breakfast with exotic birds
Hot water is now considered optional
" behind bars " no longer carries a negative stigma and actually feels comforting
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